How to Be Your Own Estate Agent (And Other Fairy Stories)

How to Be Your Own Estate Agent (And Other Fairy Stories)

Whilst reading the other day I came across an article in The Times entitled, “How to be your own Estate Agent”. It really got me going because there was a certain fact that the article left out. I’m not going to reveal the fact just now – see if you can work it out!

Anyhow, this article was the usual cozy, middle-class nonsense that The Times, The Telegraph and The Daily Mail love so much. The tone of the articles was very much along the lines of, “why pay good money to common Estate Agents when you can do the job yourself?” (why do Estate Agents and Mortgage Brokers get picked on like this so much? I’ve yet to see an article entitled, “Why pay good money for a newspaper when the headlines are available for free on the internet 24hrs a day?”) The article went on to list alternatives to an Estate Agent. These methods were:

1. Classified ads
2. Private sale websites
3. Raffle your house
4. Auction your house
5. Swap your house
6. Part exchange with a builder

Unfortunately, the fact that The Times failed to mention was that none of the above methods actually work! Classified Ads are for lonely hearts not transactions totalling hundreds of thousands of pounds. Private sale websites get zero response – Right move rules the roost. House raffles – how utterly ridiculous! What happens if you only sell ten tickets? Auction rooms across the UK are gummed up with repossessions. If you swap your house then there has to be a winner and a loser or else you’re going to end up with something pretty similar to what you have already, thereby defeating the purpose of the exercise (or else, who’ll give me a castle for my 2bed terrace?) Finally, the builders aren’t stupid. If they make you an offer for your house, they’ll expect you to pay top dollar for theirs. There is only ever one winner in their game!

In a nutshell, the fact that The Times forgot to mention is that undoubtedly, Estate Agents are the best way to ensure that your property sells, just as a Dentist is the best person to look after your teeth and a Farmer is the best person to harvest a field of crops.

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